i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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