Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize