Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize