Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hippo gnu deer
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
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I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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