Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize