I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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