The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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