so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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