And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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