I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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