i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize