the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
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Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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