i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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