My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize