Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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