his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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