We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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