Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
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Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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