I'm so fucking centered right now
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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