so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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