Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize