she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize