he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize