honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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