I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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