I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
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Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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