dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The best revenge is premature balding
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize