I bet he comes in French.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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