when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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