Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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