The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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