EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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