nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
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Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
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I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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