Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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