I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
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I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
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Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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