the day after is always just damage control
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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