Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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