Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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