You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize