I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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