I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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