just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize