whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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