he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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