You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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