Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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