I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
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Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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