i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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