I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
that is very illegal...i love you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize