We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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